Crippled = Perspective

I may have broken my wrist the other night. I'm not going to give those thieves at Kaiser any more of my money than I have to, so I'm not going in for tests just yet. But for all I know my wrist is broken, and this cock-up splint is just delaying the inevitable.

I spent most of yesterday stressing about posters and designers, all the while missing the proper use of my left hand. It's not so bad that it's useless, but it's definitely not well. Certain rotations are excruciating, and I can't put too much pressure on it. It's gotten me thinking though.

There's no such thing as an excuse. I know this, I've heard Sean Stephenson talk (and anticipate his new book), and he's accomplished more than I likely ever will, despite being trapped in a wheelchair and suffering from osteogenesis imperfecta. We all saw Unbreakable, but it's real.

I've been making excuses of late. There's always tomorrow. I'm tired today. Not like I'm getting paid for any of this... I just need to do a little more reading before I start. They can all be true, but they're still standing in the way of me doing what I need to do. I need to write. This is a constant need, but over the past 6 weeks or so, it's become a professional necessity as well. Get paid to write or die trying needs to do the motto. But while I'm getting some work done every day, I'm putting things off when I really can't afford to.

I hit upon a really good idea on New Year's Eve that became the basis for the first screenplay I'll ever finish. You can mark my words on that. I made a promise to myself that I would finish by the end of March, and though I've been stalling, I'm going to keep that promise too. I don't have all the details worked out, but Brian keeps reminding me that I need to just start writing. The answers will come, and I can always revise later. But delaying the start, looking for an excuse to not do something... That's easy. Doing what you need to do, doing what you want to do... It's not always going to be easy, and it's not always something people are in the position to do.

I've spent the last 35 hours or so mulling this. Simple things like putting on shoes, cutting a bagel, hell, even typing are much more difficult without proper functionality. It makes me appreciate just how good I've got it, unemployed in a tough economy though I may be.

I can make them up with the best of them, but at the end of the day, there are no excuses I can hide behind. Time to buckle down and get shit done.

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