I am a Junkie

Information. Distraction. Innovation. Hesitation.

Procrastination.

I haven't had the output I would like this week. From what I can remember, I don't think last week was any better. Nothing productive other than exercise, eating, and email (also, as always, alliteration) has been accomplished before noon. I'm busy, but not so busy I can't handle my business.

Yesterday should have been an afternoon dedicated to banging out a script after a call with Hill and setting up a few other things. But the afternoon came and... went, just as quickly. Not sure what happened. Even after dinner, rather than trying to work it was television and then messing around with various blogging/formatting stuff. I have a blog that works fine, but I'm always searching for the next/better/improved/scandalous thing that will somehow make me both a better writer and bring in more fans. Or something. I don't even know.

And today, I'm typing this sentence at 1:07 pm and I haven't written a lick. I can focus on the fact that I wrote a short pitch and sent it off to Hill on Wednesday and feel like I've gotten some iota of work done. But knowing I haven't written a single sentence on the script I should have been working on for Monday makes that null and void.

I planned out today. I literally broke up almost everything I wanted to do today into blocks in iCal, leaving a few gaps for inevitable slips. It hasn't helped. Nothing except for the basics (eat, exercise, email) has been touched.

I can't stop procrastinating. My sleep has been bad. Some nights it's because I go to bed with something playing on the laptop. Other times I go to bed in silence and it's just as bed. NB2 suggested I start meditating. Two nights ago I thought I was listening to an beginner's meditation audio track, but I was right and wrong about it. It was an Intro to Meditation thing, not an audio track to help guide me. Last night I listened to a different track that was actually what I was looking for... and fell asleep on it as well. At 9:11 (coincidence?) I woke up, groggy and frustrated after hitting the snooze umpteen times on two different alarms.

I'll do some writing today, that much I'm sure of. But I need to figure out how to stop this information overload. I need to stop being a junkie for all of these things and write more. I still hit deadlines, so that's not what I'm worried about. But I am worried about this being a familiar pattern. Fialkov figured out how to maximize his days, but I haven't figured out my process. My brain isn't constantly working over story problems when I do other stuff. My brain is like an accordion file, and when I'm looking in one tab, nothing is being accessed in any other. Unless I'm brushing my teeth, which is when all my thinking gets done.

Wondering why I'm blogging instead of putting the Internet on lockdown and opening up Final Draft or Pages? Yes, this too is procrastination. Figured you deserved an update just as much as I needed to put words on a blank white space. That's progress. Sort of.

Edited: The always helpful Positivity Blog is going to be my inspiration today - How to Stop Procrastinating: 7 Timeless Tips

Too Much Tuesday

I woke up to bad news.

An artist had missed a final deadline. It was time to make other plans. But we were so far behind that meant a whole lot of scrambling, favors asked, and logistics managed. I think I made the smart call, but it put me way behind to start the day. I didn't even go for my run until about 12:30 in the afternoon. But the timing led to an impromptu chat with friend and writer Rick Loverd on Westwood Blvd., so no complaints there.

Hill and I traded scripts back and forth the rest of the day. The latest on Broken Trinity and a project I can't talk about yet, but will make some very big noise very soon. Lots of little tweaks and formatting. I must have read each of them 4-6 times in the last 18 hours. But seriously, co-writing has so many perks. I definitely like the challenge of going it solo, but so far we're getting some great stuff out of this pairing, so I hope it lasts a good long time.

Speaking of, Bryan's twitter rambling got a Books section greenlit over at GeekWeek. It's almost 3:30am and I've just finished a scathing editorial about my trip to the book store and the death of fiction. Maybe that's a bit more extreme, but both of those things are discussed. I'm not sure it's coherent so I'm holding off until tomorrow to post, but hopefully you'll get a chuckle or two out of it.

Conan is going to come out of this late night debacle smelling like roses. Good for him. He's been the funniest of all the hosts in addressing the situation, even though he's the one getting jobbed. I guess misery is the other side of comedy. Remember what Mel Brooks said:

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."

Also watched the Chuck premiere. I like the show, despite the fact that it gets stuck in a rut at times. They did some nice work at the end of last season, but they seem to be playing it a little too safe right now. And the action sequences are getting worse, but I don't expect Cameron with my dramedy.

I think that's it. Writing goes well in the new year. Ron Marz has been posting some good insights on twitter, as he always does. If you're interested in his take on the comics industry, writing, or new ideas, definitely give him a follow. I need to remember to post something about Gamechangers here. Bug me if I don't.

GSFTA

10 points to anyone that can decode the acronym in the title.

Didn't get a blog out yesterday, but I wrote a column this morning for GW and an interview about BT is up, so I'm linking. Damn, all these abbreviations make it seem like I'm practically speaking in text.

Column:

LEVIN: Don't Forget Clarett

Interview:

Opening Pandora's Box with Hill/Levin

The interview was CBR's top story at the time of this posting, so I figured I would take a moment to memorialize it in a screen grab.

Breaking the Seal

I don't know what happened last year.

The last two months were incredibly unproductive for me in terms of writing. Sure I was finish up some editorial projects and they were giving their last gasp hassles, and yes there were the holidays (and me being gone in Ohio for a bit). But that's no excuse. I just flat out wasn't writing.

Given that I'm a writer, and a professional one since I've been paid more than once to do that thing I claim to do, I wasn't cutting it. But I couldn't do it. I would agonize over easy stuff (taking my polish/revision stab at the latest draft in the Hill/Levin saga), and flat out freeze when it came to other things (like that damnable screenplay). I just couldn't get anything going. Sure, I could blame certain projects for not moving fast enough. I'd expel creative energy in one direction, get hyped, and then wait weeks (or longer) to hear what the next step was, or even if there would be one. But excuses are like assholes. No one needs 'em even if they come in handy once in a while.

When I made the resolution (on this very site), I was very clear not to set unobtainable goals. It wasn't that I was going to write X amount every day. It was just that I was going to sit here and write every day. Chances are, between the 30 or so projects gestating at any given time, I'd be able to get something out there, even if it's just notes for something I haven't really thought out yet.

So last night I got a late start after dinner and did just that. I spent a few hours working and made actual progress on something that was already 3 weeks overdue. Tonight I worked on it again. A later start, and now it's almost 3am, but I got more written than yesterday and that thing is inching closer to completion.

Is it good? Probably not. There are parts I'm not happy with in the slightest, but it's just a draft. And as I've come to realize, the first step is getting something on paper. You can have the best idea ever, and in your head it may be genius, but a) it's not real yet, and b) it's much easier to fix something when it's in some kind of form, rather than nebulous headspace. So I push on, trying to get this scene done, and then the next one, and then the next. And when it's finished, it doesn't have to be perfect. I can take a look and make it better. I can pass it off to a co-writer or a trusted reader. I can make it better on the next pass, but I have to get this one done first.

Aspiring writers, never forget that bit. You can always make it better, but you have to get it written first. Write, then edit, then write some more.

Writing is not a young man's game. Most of what is written is crap. But the more you write, the more likely you are to get that crap out of your system. If I were a pessimist I would say all I've done the last two days is "get more crap out of my system."

I'm constantly amazed at how consistent my co-writer Bryan Hill is. There's a very high level to everything he does, and that could be the idea he just typed up after a phone call, or a screenplay he's toiled over. It's always there. And I believe his secret is that he's written out his bad stuff. Sure, some stuff is better than others; that's always going to happen. Not every idea can be a winner. But the overall quality is astounding.

I don't like most of what I write. I'm overly self-critical, but I've learned to put that aside. Malcom Gladwell talks about talent in his book Outliers. He calls talent the result of several factors, the largest of which is 10,000 hours of practice. I don't need the process of writing to get easier, and I don't need to think that everything will make me feel happier once it's on the page. But knowing that I'm getting more and more of my bad writing out of my system and getting ever closer to 10,000 hours/talent... that's what keeps me going when I feel like I'm writing crappy pap and should put down the keyboard.

So what was this post about? Oh yeah, I've written a decent amount (and been very productive, despite watching three movies today) the last two days. I feel like whatever excuse hex I was putting on myself is gone, and committing to "something" is really paying off. I broke the seal, so to speak.

Again with the 2010... Totally feeling it.

So 2009 Happened...

This year didn't exactly go as planned. Two weeks in I got sacked from the job I had for the last 5 years. I knew where I wanted to go, but for the most part I was directionless. Leads came up empty, my writing career didn't take off as fast as I wanted, and my personal life was pretty much entirely limited to dodgeball (not that I'm complaining about the latter).

But let's look at what worked:

- I had a back-up story in Witchblade #125 and a 3-page Ragman yarn in the DC Holiday Special. I wrote more, but that's all that was actually published. Yeesh, was that it?

- I edited Josh Fialkov and Noel Tuazon's excellent OGN Tumor, in addition to one of the most challenging gigs of my career, Days Missing for Archaia/Roddenberry. I'm also attached to edit Ryder on the Storm with David Hine and Time Bomb by Palmiotti and Gray, both for Radical.

Of course, the biggest news was the announcement of Broken Trinity: Pandora's Box, the six-issue miniseries I'm co-writing with Bryan Edward Hill. Alessandro Vitti and Sunny Gho are handling art, and Tommy Lee Edwards is on covers. It's a sweet package, and if this year's crop is any indication, will definitely be one of the better books on stands next year.

That's all well and good, but let's get back to the bad. Last year, one year ago to the day in fact, I was getting ready to go out on New Year's Eve with my buddy Bernard Chang (responsible for that darling caricature you can see of me all over the Internets). Suddenly, I had an idea. I won't go too much into it as I don't want to spoil my screenplay, and because the story ended up changing a lot. I wrote up a one-pager, fired it off to Bryan and Brian Buccellato, and felt like I had stumbled upon something I could really get behind. I kept setting deadlines for myself, even stupid penalties like "I won't cut my hair until I finish this screenplay."

I didn't finish. I did cut my hair. I suck.

I haven't touched the damn thing since before SDCC. Sure, I got busy with some paying work and travel and life, but there's no excuse. And that pretty much brings us to 2010.

2010 - The Year Shit Jumps Off

The New Year is just hours away. I plan to have a fun time ringing it in, and maybe even taking the rest of the city's vacation (Hollywood shuts down for two weeks around this time of year) as one of my own. But come 1/4, everything changes. Too many days in 2009 were marred by setbacks. I couldn't write, editing got in the way, money problems got in the way, I was busy hustling, etc. All of those things are just excuses. And in some of those cases, those excuses prevented me from even trying to write. And there's no excuse for that.

I'm not setting any goals I can't absolutely achieve. Saying I'm going to write a screenplay every 3 months isn't unrealistic, but there's the inherent possibility of failure built in. If I write 3, I've failed. If I write none because I get an exclusive contract writing comics and get too busy, I've failed. But no one can stop me from putting in the hours. Sitting down at the desk, cutting out distractions (the Internet, twitter, movies, etc.), and writing. A word, a page, a novel. Doesn't matter.

In 2010, I will write 7 days per week.

Not because I want to (or as is just as often the case, don't want to), but because I have to. When I got laid off, I didn't spend too much time in the dumps. Thanks to the advice of friends and inspired by all of the bad entertainment I've ever consumed, I went straight into pursuing writing as a full-time career with no safety net. That's the eventual goal. Create for a living. Right now I have to do other things to supplement my meager writing income, but I'm getting work. People pay me to do what I'm trying to do.

I already have books scheduled to be on stands for at least the first 7 months of the year, with more potentials in progress. I have artists attached to four original projects. But that's just comics. I want to work in film, tv and video games as well. And I don't expect to make money in each avenue just yet, but I still have ambitions. So what it's going to take to monetize all of them, as well as give me the creative cache and brand recognition, is writing 7 days a week.

My co-writer Bryan is a fantastic role model. He's a workhorse, and he churns stuff out. His initial ideas are generally better than my (seldom) finished works. And that's because he's written out his bad stuff. He just keeps writing and pushing, and his work reflects that. Another friend of mine knows him and is trying to write full-time, and he's using B as a model to pattern himself after. He goes nowhere without a laptop, and he writes as often as he can.

Since Bryan and I have so much in development, I also need to keep up with his output. The scales are tipping in his favor during the tail end of the year thanks to my lackluster output, but I'm bringing it back to 50-50 soon.

Usually I make a lot more proclamations and resolutions heading into a new year. I look back at things and have a lot of regret. I'm not doing that. I didn't write enough this year, so next year I'm going to write more. And the year after that, I'll write even more, and so on and so forth. Whatever it takes for the longterm goal.

2010 appears to be the year things take off. I'm not going to let myself down by not coming through. There's probably more I want to do, but enough talk. I've got writing to do.

Updates! Press! More!

I've been behind. There's a million reasons, but I'll be blogging better in the new year, just maybe not the way you've come to expect. More details on that over the coming weeks. For now, let's do a quick recap combined with some mild whoring. If I don't plug it here, how else will my mother know when to run to the comic shop...

I returned from the icy tundra that was Thanksgiving in Ohio to much nicer weather in LA, got a bit of work done, and then have been largely sluggish when it comes to writing ever since. Been rolling on a few things (comics and film) with the immensely talented Bryan Edward Hill, and we just secured an artist for a new project that should make it a no brainer sale. Now all I need is more time in the day to hit him back with some thoughts on this other story.

Broken Trinity: Pandora's Box has taken up the bulk of my time of late between scripts and idle thoughts, not to mention interviews. Here's the latest on that:

Opening Up Pandora's Box - Part 1

Opening Up Pandora's Box - Part 2

Top Cow Opens a Pandora's Box

Before that hits stores in February, January sees my The Darkness one-shot, Shadows and Flame with art by Jorge Lucas and colors by Felix Serrano on shelves.

CBR interview

Newsarama interview

Last week saw my first writing work published by DC Comics with a Ragman yarn in the DC Holiday Special 2009. Newsarama's Best Shots crew gave it the following review:

Wow, a Ragman story. You don't come across these much. I love how this goes back and forth between the story of the Maccabees and Ragman handing out some street justice. Rob Levin really delivered on the script and Brian Ching just nailed the art.

Look for that in shops everywhere, and special thanks to Michael Atiyeh, who has done some of the best work of his career on this short story. Mike, I owe you one...

I also cut my hair, proving I lied about my promise not to cut my hair until I finished my screenplay. I didn't finish it, but 6.5 months worth of reminding wasn't doing anything to get me going. A challenge from The Hill Administration will hopefully get me on the right track there, but that's a post for another time.

I'll be better about everything soon, it's just been crazy times and I've felt my creativity sapped at times, so I need to put it into work instead of wasting my time writing about who knows what on the blog. Money's still a little tight and there are no new checks in sight...

That's all the plugging I can stomach for right now. If you're still reading, thank you. 2010 really feels like it's shaping up to be a break-out year for me. If you're curious as to why, stay tuned to this space and the twitter.

2.5 Weeks?!?

Insert interrobang here.

I had no idea I'd been gone this long. Got crazy busy with things, and frustrated with an inability to complete one of them. Didn't seem like the right time to blog for a bit.

I'm back now. Woke up with a killer title in my head. It's a pun, sure, but puns can be great titles if the material backs them up.

Things that have kept me busy that you can check out now or soon listed below.

Now:

- Tumor (issues #1-6 available on Kindle, free issues and extras on TumorTheComic.Com)

- Days Missing (issues #1-3 in stores, #4 out next month)

- Twitter (@roblevin, as usual)

Soon:

- DC Holiday Special 2009 (featuring a Ragman/Chanukah story by yours truly with jaw-dropping art by the amazing Brian Ching and a cover by good buddy Dustin Nguyen) [Previews Order Code OCT09 0223]

- New book to be announced any day with Bryan Edward Hill

- New creator-owned book that revives a long dormant idea

As always, my screenplay is not done and haunts every waking minute of my life. But it will be soon. And once I break the seal... It's over.

Pro Time is Go Time (and LBCC details)

One of the struggles of being a freelancer is known as the "Freelancer's Dilemma." Simply put, it states that you never say no to a job for fear that they will stop asking. And that's why, looking back on the first 9 months of 2009, I wonder if I haven't made some mistakes.

I had a miniseries on the table as soon as I was done with Top Cow. The creators were all about me being on board, but it was a complicated project and I had to make sure I had the right take on it, or I'd be doing them and my career a disservice. Ultimately, while I liked the project, it wasn't the right thing for me because I knew it wasn't something I had the ability to make great. With a heavy heart and diminishing funds, I turned it down. Luckily I'm still talking to the same crew about other work, but I have no idea if/when that'll materialize. For the record, the writer who did take the gig is a much better choice and I think can make it a great book.

I've turned down two full-time editing gigs. They weren't the right fit. When I went freelance, I told myself that this was a no looking back sort of thing, and I'd push as far as I could until there was no writing work out there to be found. I was only going back to staff editing if I got some crazy job (a high level editing gig with Marvel working out of the LA office for example). I was going to make it writing.

I did a treatment for a feature film/series on spec. The intention was that if I nailed it I would write the feature or be a staff writer on the series (they were pitching it both ways). So when the call came in at 5pm that they needed something the following morning, I stepped up big, wrote something pretty damn good (with a twist I'm still really proud of) and delivered what they needed for the meeting. And then they sold the project. The people that bought it wanted to use other writers (I wrote about this in my 'Be a Professional' entry way back), so that meant my services were no longer needed. It sucked, but it's also totally understandable. Especially for this guy, who's now developed treatments for two projects that have sold, and then he's been asked off them. It happens, it's Hollywood, deal.

It hasn't been all bad. I've had Marvel ask me to pitch on projects (which will lead to an upcoming feature in December when a certain book is out - I didn't get it), I've gotten my first story with DC, a new series with Bryan Hill and some fantastic artists at Top Cow (as well as some one-shots), and a long-gestating project at Archaia. Plus another publisher and I have been trying to find something for me to write through some weird circumstances, and it looks like that's finally happening. I also started a consulting business - Comic Book Consulting. For a guy who was known primarily as an editor before this calendar year, I'm not doing so bad.

I've also said yes to a lot of things that never happen. People tell me they're hot on something or want to do X, and then I'm left holding the phone (usually for months). I say yes, I wait, and then nothing happens. No one told me freelancing was like hustling. And it's like that 24/7 even when you think it's going to be smooth sailing after Y. But I've read Iceberg Slim, so I'm handling it.

Each mistake leads to another opportunity. I've hit every deadline and kept every door wide open. Just need a few more of them to make it through the tough times. Hopefully the Long Beach Comic Con will lead to some opportunities for me. I'll be attending the show all three days, and hope to see some familiar faces and catch up with a lot of friends.

Here's my schedule for the show:

Friday

4pm - 5pm Top Cow booth #365

Saturday

2pm - 2:45pm Editing in Comics panel - Room C

4pm - 5pm Top Cow booth #365

Sunday

1pm -2pm Top Cow booth #365

Other than that I'll be floating, so give me a buzz if you'd like to meet or hook up.

Writing Rules + David Lapham

David Lapham is a hell of a writer and a pretty damn good artist. If you've never read Stray Bullets, you're really missing out on some fantastic crime fiction. I had the pleasure of working on an arc of The Darkness that he wrote at Top Cow a few years back. I was low man on the totem pole at the time, so all you can really compliment or trash me for is the lettering placements. All me, baby!

Yesterday was a day filled with a lot of reading, a lot of notes, and me reminding myself of a couple of writing rules. I posted the following writing maxims on my twitter:

Certain writing rules can never be stated enough: "Action is character." "Show, don't tell."

I thought I was just doing my thing, stating the obvious. They're such basic rules that it's really hard to find fault with them. But that's the novice in me speaking (out loud, on the Internet, forever). As much as I like to think of myself as a pretty good writer, I've got miles to go before I proverbially sleep, and there's ALWAYS room for improvement. I've got a ton to learn.

David, having written or written and drawn more books than I've edited (I'm guessing) chimed in with the following advice, and he is absolutely right.

While they essentially say the same thing I like the first and not so much the second saying. The second is dicey for two reasons. One is space. For practical purposes sometimes shit needs to be told to conserve panels or time. Second and more importantly. Characters have dialogue and in good writing every word of dialogue is telling.

So there you go. It's late and I won't remember any of this in the morning. G'night.

SCREENPLAY OVERDRIVE - Day 9 Update

Another day, another 10 pages. For those keeping score, that puts us at 81 pages. And yet, I'm not happy. I feel like the whole thing is spinning out of control. I'm off the beat sheet, pulling things out of my ass, and it's just not quite where I want it to be.

Here's what the last (almost) two weeks have taught me about screenwriting:

Screenwriting is easy. Good screenwriting is hard.

Progress is progress, that's about all I know. Tomorrow I'm definitely going to go back through the last 15-20 pages and see what I want to throw out. Things really got out of hand, to the point where certain scenes I know I want/need to have aren't really appearing on the horizon. This isn't a kill your darlings situation, this is a "fix this mess" kind of deal.

I'm tired, definitely need to start earlier tomorrow. And yet, I have potential paying work due first. Which I should put some more time in on now. No rest for the untalented...

SCREENPLAY OVERDRIVE - Day 8 Update

Had a hard time with things today. Meeting early got postponed, ended up spending more time on editing than I planned. Said the wrong thing on an IM and got chewed out (in an encouraging manner) by Fialkov for a bit. I needed it.

Really been struggling with a pitch. It's not that I don't have ideas, I just don't think they're there yet. Got another couple days, and an idea of how to get closer to what's wanted. We'll see how things go tomorrow. I feel better whenever I talk to Hill about it. I know we have yet to get actual projects rolling together, but we've been baking things for a few months now and it's really refreshing to be in the same wheelhouse (almost exactly in some cases) but come at things from different angles. Really opens up my thinking and lets me tackle things in ways I wouldn't normally try in order to get to the place I'm trying to get. Bryan Hill is the truth, people. You heard it here third.

As a result of pitch issues, editing needing to get done, and WeHo Dodgeball playoffs (we did not win, thus ending our season and winning streak), I didn't get started on the screenplay until late. Should have gotten going around 11, but wanted a smoothie. And then I should have gotten going at 11:30, but Nelson and I started talking. Careers, the pitch, art, etc.

Got rolling at 12:30 am. Wrote about one page in the first hour. Kept distracting myself with twitter responses, refreshing email for no reason, etc. Finally got in a groove, just finished up a couple minutes ago. Again, I have no idea if it's good. In fact, the main scene I worked on didn't play out at all how I planned (ended in the same spot, but that's about it).

I haven't been warming up by revising previous pages, so I think I'm gonna just keep plugging, take a day off just reading screenplays with a good style, then come back through and revise the whole thing. Then I'll give the first round to the only readers I trust to not abandon me when it's terrible, do their notes, and cast the net out wider.

10 pages done, sitting halfway through 71 and right in the middle of a scene that'll write itself. There is no more can't in my vocabulary when it comes to this screenplay. Given 2-3 hours (or preferably more), I can consistently make 10 pages of progress. If I can keep that up, work on quality, I'll be a beast in no time. Now, sleep...

P.S. I randomly found an email from an artist I want to do an original thing but couldn't find any contact info (or name) for him. Combing through old email for something else, the email just appeared. Just dropped him a line. Could be cool.

SCREENPLAY OVERDRIVE - Day 6 Update

Since I didn't mention it earlier, I ended up taking the weekend off from the screenplay. Don't know if it did me good or bad, because I managed to get my ten pages done today. And just a hair before midnight too, not that it would matter if I finished at 3pm or 3am to me.

It is now, at 51 pages, the furthest I've made it into a screenplay (previous mark was 47 pages, which I wrote in two nights sophomore year of college). Not an accomplishment until it's actually done, but a sign post along the way to mark my journey.

I don't know where this thing is going right now. I have the overall story and I'm about to hit the midpoint which changes things and should help me tighten up, but the journey there has gone unexpected directions and I'm really doing my best not to edit as I go. Had a couple scenes I know I'll be revising tomorrow as a warm-up (which I did not do today due to getting going very late, probably to my own detriment), but the pages keep ticking and the story keeps moving. Fair enough.

Today's quota met, time for a little bedtime snack (been incredibly hungry since eating at 7pm tonight) and an episode of Dead Like Me. Tomorrow will be another ten pages, and hopefully hammering out a pitch for some cohorts to get feedback on until it's live to the world.

SCREENPLAY OVERDRIVE - Day 5 Update

Finished my first official week of SCREENPLAY OVERDRIVE.

One day of planning, four days of writing. The cursor calmly sits mid-way down on page 41, waiting for me to write more. I guess I'm about a third of the way done, though I have a feeling this first draft is going to come in long.

I sat down today with the nagging feel that the first half of Act II still sucked. I looked at my cards, thought about the story, and decided I would introduce a new character to help my character out. When in need, invent something or someone. New character, quick backstory, long scene to make him a vital part. But the question is, how does he fit in with the later things I'm still using? That remains to be seen...

Today's ten pages kind of sucked, but overall its longer than the previous attempt (41 pages to the previous 39), and I think the opening and general thrust of the story works better. I'll call that a win.

Again, the one thing I'm really working toward here is finishing. I know there's good stuff in the story, it just might not be as tight as I want it to be when I get done with a first pass. So I'll do another. For now, just finish.

Let that be a lesson to all neophyte (and veteran) creators out there. Finishing is one of the most important aspects of the game. Can't finish, can't submit, can't produce, can't get paid, can't move on. Now, quality is obviously a major factor, but sometimes your creative brain needs to vomit, then you piece through the mess and keep the good stuff. Like the corn and beans that never got properly digested.

Hello, weekend. Treat this writer well. He has more in store for you...

SCREENPLAY OVERDRIVE - Day 2 Update

It's an unofficial term that I'm using to describe my progress on the screenplay that will carry me into the promised land of actually getting it done. Seems to make sense given that 10 pages a day is a lot to ask for if you think about getting 120 pages done in 12 days, but really not that much on its own.

Yesterday was all about getting the Board in shape to see if anything was missing, and today was about getting back to work. Get 10 pages done, no matter what. Procrastination ruled the day, but then around 4-something I finally managed to shake off the funk, let Blake Snyder's passing push me to do something rather than feel weird, and get some work done. I wrote my ten pages, which are largely similar to the first 10 pages, but with a revised opening sequence, and I can rest for the day. And of course, I didn't look at any of the cards I made for the board. Typical.

I'll be mulling some notes I got on a comic project, hopefully discussing them with one of my collaborators as well, but mostly taking it easy with dinner and perhaps a movie whilst I pontificate.

Tomorrow will see pages 11-20 written, as well as polishing up 1-10 as a warm-up to get the neurons firing and fingers flowing across the keys. Hopefully some progress on the comics side, as well as some work on new pitches with Mr. Hill. We've got at least one stellar one, just a matter of giving it the fleshing.

Lots of blog today. Hmm...

Do Some Damage Covers 'Writer's Block'

I'm never really sure how I feel about writer's block. I think it exists, in a sense, when certain things won't come together. But I've never felt (being the immensely talented and creative fellow that I am) that there was a time when no words or ideas would come on anything. I've struggled with projects and pages, paragraphs and lines, sometimes even punctuation. But my brain never shut down to the point where nothing would come at all. There's always something left in the tank.

But anyway, here's a solid article from Jay Stringer, one of the members of the new crime fiction blog, Do Some Damage. Haven't had much time to check out the site yet, but did read and enjoy this article.

Writer's Block and Other Urban Legends

TGIM - Back Against the Wall

Here's what I like to do:

Sleep. I mean procrastinate. Hell, if I can do both together, that's just gravy.

I don't do much for myself. Make someone (a person or a company) dependent upon me and I'll hit deadlines, come through in the clutch, and do whatever is needed. But me, working on a screenplay just to get one done, tell the story I want to tell, and not having anyone waiting on it... I procrastinate. I let other things get in the way. I even take on other work (paying or not) to avoid doing it.

All because of Parkinson's Law. And as often as it's failed me, it's proven true countless more times. Look at pretty much every paper or school project I've ever written, or the first few comics I did where artists were in need ASAP and I had to get something done yesterday. I got it done.

But, as my friend Sean Chen pointed out at SDCC, I've been blowing a lot of my self-imposed deadlines. He asked me why and I didn't have a good answer. Still don't, to be perfectly honest. I think fear of doing something bad (even though I've already dealt with this) is still holding me back. But I also keep in my mind something Brian Buccellato told me. He said his writing career really turned a corner when he finished his first screenplay. Not because it was amazing, but because it was done. There was no longer any reason to think that he couldn't do it, because the proof was sitting right in front of him.

So I'm eliminating excuses. I'm eliminating goals. I'm just going to work, with no other options. I've got my editing stuff on a good track so that it won't get in the way of my scheduled writing, and the writing plan is reasonable if intensive (10 pages a day, thanks to Tony Gilroy's method via Bryan Hill). I've already blown every deadline I've set for myself countless times. I've tried shame (shaving my beard before SDCC) and grooming tweaks (not getting another haircut until I finish) and nothing has really led to much progress.

So I'm just going to sit my ass in this chair and write. No bullshit, no excuses. I've realized, thanks in no small part to my roommate, that finishing this screenplay is more important than any job I might take, project that might get approved, etc. It's holding me back from everything I want to do. The only choice is to finish it if I want any semblance of a career, or it'll forever be a stumbling block that keeps tripping me up.

Not many guys let their first screenplay put their career on the line. But I'm already there, in a fucked up in the head sort of way. So my back is against the wall, whether I want it to be or not. And sometimes that's not a bad position to be in. Like now...

Does this even count as a TGIM. I say yes, and notice the period indicating a rhetorical question. Grammar saves the day again!

***

In other news, been finalizing my "Board," for those familiar with Save the Cat. I hate the process. I don't mind outlining, but taking this thing the whole way has me bullshitting through the +/- emotional change of some scenes, ditto for the <> conflict in each. It feels really inorganic to me, and more like busy work (which he swears is not the point). I have enough faith in my sensibilities and storytelling that I like to think I can borrow and dip my toes into the method without actually going through it like an automaton. I'm mingling my stuff with his, and trying to find harmony. If it helps me get this thing written (and help it shall, since there's no other choice), I'll go and do The Board properly next time.

After all, "If what works for you isn't working, try something else." Say, there's a screenplay idea in there (not the next one, but the third one)...

When All Else Fails...

When all else fails, do the thing you're afraid of.

Okay, let me back up. The thing I'm afraid of, apparently, is writing a bad screenplay. I already resolved to write it (as bad as it needed to be to get done), then re-write it to make it good. I took the bad part out of the equation. I set a firm deadline for when I wanted a draft done (by the time I leave for SDCC) and set about writing. I made some strong progress up front, slowed, and then... Well, I haven't written anything on the screenplay since late last Wednesday.

Really? A week off with two weeks to go and two thirds to write? Good plan, jerkface.

I wasn't happy with what I was writing. I had written ten pages of manuscript that I somehow slogged through, hating nearly everything I typed. But I was moving forward. And then... I dunno. I let myself get caught up in editing, distractions, and being lazy (watching the entire season of a TV show I found out about on Monday night for example).

Tonight I was frustrated by the fact that I was spending another night in front of the TV instead of writing, and was angry about it but not enough to stare at the screen and type a few words. So I stopped the TV, walked into the bathroom, and did 95% of what I was afraid of.

If you'll recall, I added a little punishment to my deadline for the screenplay. Namely, shaving myself baby-faced smooth right before Comic-Con if I didn't get a first draft done. And I realized, sitting there watching TV, that I had thought more about the threat of being shorn and looking young than I had writing. And that goes for pretty much every day for the last week. Not to say I've been focused on grooming, but it should tell you how much I haven't been writing.

So I walked into the bathroom, grabbed the beard trimmer, put on the smallest guard/length attachment, and shaved myself down as far as it goes. A little bit left so I'd have something solid in a week's time if I earn it, but enough gone so that I had a pretty good preview of what I'd be missing if I didn't get my shit handled and finish on time.

For the record, I hate not having a beard (or goatee). Mainly because I hate how I look when I walk in front of a mirror without one. People don't care, and I don't care what people think, but I know not finishing and shaving means I'll suffer through a show without the armor that being a man who can grow a beard gives.

So I did it. Shaved it off, saw what's waiting for me in 6 days time if I fuck up. And I still don't know if I'll write anything tonight...

Stuck in a Rut

8 pages today, most of which were written after 12:30am (Wednesday). I'm not sure I like anything I've written in the last 10 pages, largely because it feels like filler.

Part of it's that I only did a beat sheet for the story (clocking in at 7 pages), but not a treatment. I don't know what my winning formula to an ace screenplay is since I haven't finished one. But I was tired of planning and not taking action, so I went for it. There's always more to research, plot out, or another book on writing to read before you start. The goal isn't to make it great. Not yet.

The goal is to get something on paper, revise, and then make it great. Still, I feel like I'm in a rut. I knew Act 1, really well in fact. That's the reason Saturday was so productive, and I got the remainder of it out on Sunday. I know some of where Act 2 goes, but it's way more broadstrokes until I reach the midpoint. And getting there, well... It's going slowly. I don't like the scenes I've done, and I keep wanting to go back and revise. But except for tweaking a few lines each time I start a new day, I'm not going back.

I just have to get to the midpoint, then I'm taken care of until the last 10-12 pages which will need some blocking out. I could also easily skip where I'm at right now and start from where I know exactly how things play out, but that seems anti-process. Part of me wants to spend tomorrow writing a treatment so I can follow it to a T for this draft, but I know while it's a good move, it's a day (or more if I stall out there) lost. That could be 10-30 pages I don't get written (or 2). So for now, I soldier on, trying to make it all sing.

The other part is that the recent batch of scenes either don't do much with character (outside of introducing a B storyline) or enough with plot. I don't know the dramatic need of each scene, and so it feels kind of pointless. I'm trying to approach each one with a goal in mind, but some just feel like they need to be there so I'm getting them out. But they're not essential in their current forms, which is slowing me down. I guess I'm terrified of writing 65 pages, rather than 140 and then trimming.

Keeping the end goal in sight, not to mention the threat of a shorn face, really does work though. I've been upset that I haven't had time to do much work this week because editing gigs have gotten in the way, but it makes me value the time I do spend writing that much more. And even if I don't love (or even slightly like) what's coming out, it's flowing and I'm not wasting time. So yeah, small favors and all that.

I'm up through page 34 for anyone keeping track at home.

A Price to Pay

I shaved my head on June 1 and made myself a promise. I wouldn't cut my hair until I finished a screenplay (or a novel). That's not that big a deal, just a minor inconvenience and potentially a long term hindrance.

In light of getting trapped doing other things today and not making any progress (though I'm not asleep yet) on the screenplay, I've had another idea. If I don't finish my screenplay by the time I hit the road to San Diego, I'm shaving.

I've been sporting some form of beard since just before Comic-Con in 2005 I think. I went down to a mustache once for a dodgeball event, but that was a minimum. It's been goatee, beard, or stubble every day. I don't believe in men who can't grow beards.

So here's the thing. I look like I'm about 13 years old (maybe 12) sans facial hair. San Diego is a big networking opportunity for me. I take meetings, I do signings, and I sit on panels. Plus I hob knob. And doing that without facial hair of any kind scares the shit out of me. I don't want to look like a clean-shaven baby.

So that's been added to the quest. You heard it here first. No screenplay, no facial hair at San Diego.

EDIT: Managed almost 3 pages tonight. Will do at least triple that tomorrow, and hopefully I'll like some of it. Tonight's work felt kind of "meh," and I'm not sure two of the shorter scenes really did anything to push the story.

TGIM - Setting Goals

I wrote part of a screenplay once. 51 pages across two night. I came home from a birthday party (not mine), sat down at the computer and got it out of my system. Wrote a little more the next day and then never touched it again. For years I thought it was lost as I was unable to remember any of the possible names (it was Untitled) and couldn't remember any terms to search for within the document. This weekend I found it.

It's more of a relic of who I was and what I was interested in writing at the time than it is something I'll ever get back to. Some of the themes are things I still play with in my current work, so it's not completely abandoned. But what's crazy about it is that it's the longest screenplay I've ever written, even in its incomplete form.

If you didn't know (and I do believe I've mentioned here), I've never finished a screenplay. Outside of the last 6 months, I didn't spend much time writing over the last five years. I had work, school, and other things to occupy my time. Writing was always something I'd "get to." And yet the longest thing I'd written for one particular medium happened on a lark, with no planning or foresight.

It's an anomaly more than anything. You really do have to set goals or things get put off. "Tomorrow." "Soon." "Not right now." Sometimes it's healthy to delay things. Other times it gets in the way of ever getting anything done. My goal is to be a working writer who only has to write to pay his bills. I'm not there yet, and part of the reason is because of my track record, part is skill, and the other is that I don't have enough completed work to offer up as samples.

I've been working on LYP since the final day of 2008, but I've been scared. Scared I couldn't finish it. Scared it wouldn't be good. I've pushed back my personal deadlines for a first draft numerous times. I had them before I got laid off, and that gave me more free time than I was anticipating. But I missed the first date, and hadn't written a page. Eventually I got the story completely broken down. And for weeks (or perhaps months) I didn't write a thing.

On June 3rd I wrote the first three pages of my screenplay, hoping that I'd tear through it in June and get a draft done by the end of 2009's first half. But I didn't touch it again. Not until this past weekend.

On Friday I went for a walk, listening to Jack Canfield's The Success Principles for the second time in as many weeks. My biggest takeaway from the program is the idea of setting goals. They don't have to be realistic. In fact, they should be grandiose and outside of your reality. A goal that's as simple as, "to pay my bills," will probably get met. "Make $100,000 this year," is a little loftier, but no less achievable if it's the goal you're striving toward. There's a line in the book that illustrates this point:

"If you give your mind a $10,000 problem, it will come up with a $10,000 solution. If you give your mind a $1 million problem, it will come up with a $1 million dollar solution."

Setting goals and visualizing them as completed actually does work. Case in point, I resolved to get my screenplay done. Not only to get it done, but to get it done by San Diego Comic-Con so it was one less thing I had to worry about at the show. Hell, that's a good three weeks or so out. And Bryan Hill is planning to have two screenplays done in that time. Surely I can manage to complete one.

The first thing I did was give myself permission to make it bad. I'm striving for good, but even the worst screenplay ever written is finished. And it's not going to come out of the oven perfect. I'll get some notes, do another draft, and see where it lands. Rinse and repeat until it's to a point where I'm happy with it. By giving myself that permission, by freeing myself from the monster that is perfection, I finally felt like I could work on it.

On Saturday I wrote 18 pages. On Sunday, in limited time before heading to a barbecue and a concert, 3.5. In 48 hours, with plenty of time for relaxation and socializing, I managed to write more than 7x what I had done in the previous 6 months.

Set a goal. Believe. Achieve.

If I sound like a cheesy self-help salesman, it's because I am. When I discovered self-help/self-improvement two years ago, I thought it was lame. I was a guy who didn't need help. I was a man, dammit. We don't ask for directions and we don't need help. But I gave it a chance and let it transform my life. It helped me get over a rough patch personally, and there hasn't been a single thing in my professional life I've been unable to deal with. And while I had dealt with everything that had happened in my life before taking initiative, now I do it in stride. Knock it, use it, whatever. Everyone finds their own path. If it helps you achieve your goals, at the end of the day that's all that matters.

***

Recommended Reading:

The Success Principles by Jack Canfield

The Science of Self-Confidence by Brian Tracy

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Pretty much anything by Anthony Robbins or from Nightingale Conant